Top 10 Jokes Of The Week

1
Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”

Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”

Doctor: “Every two hours.”


2

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.


3

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”

Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”

Doctor: “Nine.”


4

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”


5

Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.


6

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.


7

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.


8

Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick: “What school?”


9

“Mom, where do tampons go?”

“Where the babies come from, darling.”

“In the stork?”


10

Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”

The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”

Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”

Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.”

 

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